The Little Girl Who Cried "Stinky"

Yeah so it's been almost 3 months since I've written anything! I have no excuses, so I'll just try to move on and ignore it!!

Happy New Year! I do have hopes to write much more this year than last. I really view this blog as a "fancy" journal for keeping track of milestones and achievements and funny stories for the whole family. I missed quite a few of those in the last few months, so hopefully I can start this new year on the right foot!

As of yesterday, Izzy is 21 months old. However, she's already joined the ranks of the "terrible 2's". She's mastered the word "NO!" and will throw a fit (complete with lying on the floor) if she doesn't get what she wants.

She's growing up much faster than I remember either of the boys doing so. The highchair is gone, she'd rather sit in a booster at the table with the rest of us. She's been drinking from a big girl cup or a straw cup and has little patience for "sippy cups" anymore! Two nights ago, we converted her crib into a toddler bed. She's fallen out twice (once each night) but otherwise has had no problems going to sleep (for naps too) and staying in bed. It seems she still thinks she can't get out!!! A thought I'm not going to change!!!

The most obvious way in which she seems to be growing up is her increased awareness of all things potty-related. She's no longer willing to sit in a wet diaper, and if it's a poopy diaper, she will IMMEDIATELY inform you and demand a diaper change. She'll voice her demand by coming over to you and saying "stinky". In the last few weeks, this has escalated to wanting to sit on the potty and try to go. Again, this demand is voiced by the word "stinky".

All of this is great and wonderful. But lately, the demand to sit on the potty comes every 20-30 minutes, and rarely is accompanied by any results. 20 minutes later she will come over to me yelling "stinky" again and wanting to sit on the potty. But in the last few days, it is rare that she does anything more than sit on the potty for 3 seconds and then get up and run all over the house nekkied and laughing like a maniac. Dare you try to put her diaper back on, she'll pitch a fit that she needs to go "stinky" again!! She demands to sit on it, but won't do anything! So now she's the little girl who cried "stinky".

I know I should be thrilled that she's showing interest in being PT'd so early (especially compared to other members of the family!).... but I can't handle all this terrible 2's drama already!!!

5 months of this...

Friday marked the 5 month "anniversary" of Blake being diaper-free. Not of Blake being potty trained unfortunately!

In the last month, we've made MAJOR strides on actually completing the potty training mission!

In early May, we noticed something that might serve as a major incentive to staying dry - the achillies heel we'd been looking for!!! Blake regularly was asking to do 3 activities, that are not high on my list of things to do: play-doh, moon sand, and painting. (Mostly, these are low on my list due to the amount of work and clean-up that I do!). But since we were looking to motiviate Blake, I figured I could either clean up these activities or clean up pee accidents!!!

So we started an incentive program (gawd, I sound like the HR rep I used to be!) involving Potty Points or Potty Dollars. Each time B peed in the potty he got 1 potty point (hubby printed out some home made potty dollars to give him). Every time he pooped, in the potty, it was worth 2 dollars. An accident cost the same amount. The reward, trade in potty points for time playing play-doh or moon sand. Each dollar is worth 5 minutes!

I'd say it made an instant impression. The day we started it, he went potty a bunch of times, and got a bunch of points. Late in the afternoon, he traded in points for 20 minnutes of moon sand time. He was ECSTATIC!!! However, at that point he had no potty points left (he'd spent thme all) and he'd gotten what he wanted (moon sand) so after dinner, he peed in his pants! Darn kid....

So we modified the rules, and said that he had to always keep a reserve of $2, so he could still pay for an accident. After a few more successful days, we also doubled the fines ($2 for peeing in pants, and $4 for pooping). For the next 10 days or so, he'd rack up his money, trade it in for play-doh time, and have an occasional accident. We thought we were making progress....

And then suddenly, last Friday started a string of 6 dry days in a ROW!!! AND, as if that wasn't enough, 6 dry NIGHTS too!!! Holy cow!! We apparently have finally gotten through to this kid! After waking up dry a few times, we started giving him $2 if he could stay dry at night too. Friday & Saturday have seen 1 accident each, but the difference... B has been NOTICEABELY upset about the accidents and really sad to give up his potty points!!! Woo Hoo!!! And, a double bonus, he's willing to go potty and goes when he needs to on his own, vs. being told!!!

The icing on the cake for B and me, Trev still isn't dry at night. (He'll kill me when he's older and sees I wrote that on the internet!). So now that Blake is regularly staying dry, T is a little upset, and trying his hardest to stay dry then too!!

So....either we found the right strategy, or it just took 5 months, but either way, we might be totally potty trained soon!

Diapers and Tape

Seriously, I'm done. I swear I will successfully potty train Izzy before Blake.

It's been ages since I blogged about potty training, and it's been going okay. He can make it dry for about 3 days in a row, and then he can't make it. But even on the days he's not dry all day, he's usually dry until after dinner, and then just seems to lose focus at the end of the day....when he's tired and cranky.

We've been at this for 4 months.... since his birthday at the end of December. I've seriously contemplated going back to diapers a few times, but never actually done it. I really think, with him, that it's a matter of a battle of wills. And, dammit, I will win this battle!!!

Each month, he's done a little better, and a little better. I think in March, he stayed dry about 12 days total... so almost 50%. At this rate, we'll be trained by the end of 2009...right???

Today, accident while I was out. He told Daddy he didn't need to go potty, and wouldn't go when Daddy told him to. Next thing ya know, pee on the rug.... and I came home to a "Nakey Blakey" what a nickname! Later, as I was feeding Izzy, Trevor commented that there was a puddle on the floor. I yelled for Steve to come down, and told Blake to go sit on the potty.

Well, Steve found the puddle on the floor (B was only allowed on the wood floor at this point), and also found.... (okay this is gross)....poop smeared on the carpeted stairs. UGH!!! I was SO mad. This is a new low for him! So he sat on the potty for a good long time (at least 30 minutes) while I finished feeding Izzy, and Steve cleaned up.

Finally, I went to get him out of the bathroom. And I went prepared....with a diaper and tape. And so I put the diaper on him, and taped around the top.... because I KNEW that he would hate the diaper and try to rip it off. He's been threatened with a diaper before, and he does not want to wear them.... he's adamant that he's a big boy, not a baby.

Well, for all of you contemplating this method, let me tell you the one thing I learned today. Blue painter's tape is VERY easy for kids to rip off. Take the time to find the duct tape!!! He ripped off the tape, and we re-taped him. And then he and I sat in the bathroom for about 30 minutes, while he had a HUGE fit. I've seen this kid have many major meltdowns in his 3 years of life, but this was one of the biggest. I was holding him down so he wouldn't hurt himself or me, and so he wouldn't rip off the tape.

Finally, he got tired of having a fit and getting no attention for it (I was busy reading all the catalogs I keep in the bathroom.... got some good window shopping done!). He calmed down and we talked about why the diaper and tape were on. We talked for a while, he wore the diaper for a while, and then I agreed to let him take it off... as long as it NEVER happened again. NO MORE accidents.... and he agreed.

Yeah... that worked until dinner time. Then, while sitting at dinner finishing eating, he peed on the chair, and pooped in his undies. So, straight to bed he went.

Now what do I do tomorrow??? Hubby has suggested diapers for a week, hiding all underwear, and then seeing how B feels about this whole potty training thing. I'm not sure I can keep him in diapers for a whole week, or even part of a day.... while attending to a newborn and a 4.5 year old! I definitely will need to find the duct tape, since we know the blue tape ain't gonna cut it.

Any other suggestions for ways to motivate him???? I gotta find this kid's achillies heel....he's gotta have a weakness I can exploit.... I just haven't found it yet!!!

Babies and Potties and other Updates

Yikes, it's been a long time since I've written anything. I can't think of any major reasons why, but at the same time, I can't think of many major things that have been going on.... at least, beyond the obvious...

Potty Training...
Blake is still putting up with being forced not to be a lazy little boy. He would probably wear a diaper if we let him, but he's realized that there's no option on this front and that we expect him to wear underwear, AND keep it dry!

He can do it, he's done it for 3-4 days at a time. And then he has a random accident late in the day, for absolutely NO reason. There's no logic to it, and a lot of the time, I swear it's intentional. We're at the point now, that if he has an accident, I just tell him to go get dry undies, and we move on with our day.... nothing more. I think the lack of attention is a key.

He's been dry for the last few days with no issues, and today was pushing me out of the bathroom telling me he didn't need me there. He's also standing up to go pee, and pooping on the potty 9 times out of 10. So... we're almost there. For the most part, he'll stay dry, and go potty when I tell him to, but still won't initiate it himself. Oh well...

Dancing Queen....

While I have claimed both here and IRL that "I love being pregnant"... I'm about done with it this time around!!! I'm at that point of discomfort, where sleep is not happening very much, and it's ticking me off. I'm someone who LOVES my sleep at the best of times, even when not preggo, and especially when pregnant. So messing with my sleep is NOT a good thing. I'm able to fall asleep, but I'm not comfortable for long, and by morning my back is a wreck and I'm cranky and feel like I didn't get much if any sleep. I think I will be relocating to the couch and/or lazy-boy soon.

On top of that, this kid has decided to sit in a very strange position (at least I assume it's how she's positioned) and my tailbone is KILLLING ME!!! I can't sit for long without getting a major butt-ache.... sorry TMI!!! I've never had pain like this from either of my other pregnancies, and I'm not enjoying it. Driving to work seems to be too far half the time, and causes my tailbone to hurt. So, I've been seeing the chiro twice a week to help with the pain. While he's awesome, and getting adjusted always feels good, it's not stopping the pain completely, just slowing it down a little, only for it to come back by the end of the day.

So, I'm counting down the weeks - 4 1/2 - until this kid is full term and it wouldn't be bad for her to be born. That would be anytime after April 6th. A month from Friday... let's go!!!

Michigan and Paint....

The only other update I can think of is that a few weekends ago, I took the boys up to Michigan to visit friends of ours who moved last fall. E has two boys who are each about 6 months younger than T & B, and had a baby girl in November. The 4 boys were THRILLED to see each other and played wonderfully all weekend. It was great to meet Baby A and to see E for a whole weekend. I miss her dearly, and it was good to be able to sit and catch up and chat and vent, and everything else!!

And while we were gone, my darling husband, painted the family room and kitchen! They badly needed new paint, between the dents and dings from the kids, and the fact that they were still painted with contractor-grade white paint. I'd post pictures, but well, it's still white. Yes, its new fresh bright semi-gloss white, but it's still white!!! Ah, my darling husband... he HATES color on walls... And while I don't care for the white, I choose my battles, and I have plans for art for the walls and possibly some tapestry going up too. So I'll get my color someway, somehow. At least the dents, dings and scraches are gone. And now the walls are washable, so when the kids decide to color on them, they can then remove those marks themselves, quite easily!!!

Finally... on the note of the economy, I'm sitting here listening to John Stewart on Comedy Central, and I just can't help but share this lovely quote with all of you: " If I'd listened to CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today... provided I'd started with a hundred million!"

30 days to make a habit??

It's has been a while since I've discussed the highly important topic of potty training. For those of you non-parents, well.... deal with it! Before becoming a mom, I figured I wouldn't be one of those mom's who only ever talks about poop and puke, and all that grand stuff. But I am.... and it's just part of the job of being mom.... oh well!

So it's been a month since Blake's birthday, and while I have been tempted to quit this crazy ritual called "potty training" more than once (more than 10 times, I'm pretty sure!), I have not quit. And now, given our current status, I think that is the key.

We had a span of 3 days around the 10th-12th of this month where B stayed COMPLETELY dry. For 3 whole days! I know this because we stuck stickers on a calendar... and he was SO excited to get stickers. But then something happened.... and it was nothing specific. But B decided to be B, and he wasn't ready to be dry all day every day. But we kept at it.

We've gone through days where we wear underwear and try to stay dry; and days where we wear pull-ups and try to stay dry. We've had a few successful days where we are completely dry all day long, and many more days where he does well for most of the day, but has 1 or 2 accidents. Really, for a 3 year old, not bad at all.

The tricky part with B is that his motivation changes CONSTANTLY. Each time he goes potty, the desired reward is different. A sticker, a piece of candy, computer time, reading a story with Mommy, etc. But he won't tell you what he wants, he expects you to know.... just by reading his mind!! And he gets VERY offended if you offer him the wrong reward!

We've also made forward progress on a number of other related fronts. He willingly went potty somewhere besides our house. In fact he used the potty at both Dana's and grandma's. And he's willing to go potty for grandma when she is babysitting and Daddy when he's the only one home (if I'm here, I still get the job!). Both major progress points in my opinion!

As a past post indicated, for some reason B was staying dry more consistently in pull-ups vs underwear. So we let him wear pull-ups pretty much all the time. Recently, as of the end of last week, we went significantly down hill and he was peeing in the pull-ups often and repeatedly, and saying he didn't care. So Saturday when he got up, I informed him he was going to wear underwear. There was no meltdown, no major resistance, he just dug through the drawer until he found a pair he wanted (Elmo of course!). What happened next.... 1 accident followed by 3 straight dry days! The streak would have been 3 1/2 but he lost it this afternoon for some reason when Daddy wanted him to go potty and I wasn't home.

In addition to 3 dry days, he also hit one more milestone today. We did all our morning errands (3 stops) while wearing undies!! No accidents!!! We did come home during our errands (after the grocery store-to put away frozen meat) and he peed then, but otherwise, he stayed dry all morning and didn't have a problem!!! So I really feel like we're making progress....

And the interesting thing I realized this morning. It's been exactly one month today since his birthday. And we started this latest potty-push, on his birthday. Don't many many people say that when you are trying to make or break a habit you have to do the new behavior for 30 days? I believe that's how the saying goes. And it seems, that Blake is one of those people who needs to do the new behavior for 30 days before it is even possible to consider the behavior becoming a habit. But I think he's considering the idea now!

So, we will continue on our mission, and I truly feel that success is eminent this time. However, tomorrow when he refuses to pee for Daddy (while I am at a work meeting) I may need to re-read this post to convince myself again! In the meantime, I will enjoy the fact that I have not washed a load of diapers in a month!!

Potty Training: An Update

Well, thanks to my husband (and yes I REALLY mean that), we are still on the potty training wagon and Blake is getting more and more successful!!!

He stayed dry all day last Friday, while wearing a pull-up. Since then we've had good days and bad days, and days I wanted to throw in the towel completely! There are times we can go out somewhere (say the aquarium for 6 hours!) and he stays dry the WHOLE time. He won't pee in a public potty yet, but he stayed dry. Then we get home, and he had 3 accidents in 1 hour!!! So, my patience is wearing thin at times!

We have gone through fights over when to pee, where to pee, and how! Blake has taken to sitting on his little potty and reading various catalogs that are kept in the bathroom, or (his favorite) a Thomas catalog showing EVERY wooden Thomas train and accessory. He 'shops' while he sits, and eventually goes.

At times he would agree to go potty, and then sit and sit and sit. He'd yell at me that, "I'm starting" and try to hit me if I dared to interefere. He'd sit for 20-40 minutes and not pee, then put on his pull-up and immediately pee in it. After a few days of this, about Tuesday, I called hubby at work and tried to quit the whole thing again and throw in the towel on the process. (And this is where hubby earns his kudos) Hubby talked me down, calmed me down, and reminded me who was the adult and in charge here (apparently he thinks I'm in charge!! ha ha!). Basically, he saw this as a battle of wills between two very stubborn people (me and Blake) and he wouldn't let me quit and let my 3 year old win. And I think that was the key. We kept going even when B was pushing my buttons, and now B seems to realize that this is what needs to happen and he has no choice!!

Since then, we have finally had many successes: Friday he went potty for Grandma (a first!), and today he went potty for Daddy (or he couldn't go out and play in the snow!). Prior to this, he's held it while I've been gone until I get back and can sit with him in the bathroom. He's also started asking me to leave the bathroom and then he goes and calls me back in when he's done to help him clean up!!! Holy cow!!! And, he's stayed DRY (except for nap) for 2 straight days!!! HOLY COW!!! (At the moment, we're only dealing with peeing... we'll get to #2 when we've mastered this part!).

So we've made some major progress in the 2 weeks since his birthday!! I'm still waiting for him to start noticing when he needs to go, as so far I am the one who initiates the "it's time to go to the potty" concept, but that will come in time I'm sure. Strangely, we're still having success wearing pull-ups all the time, and while I want to get to undies, I'm not anxious to change our successful formula. Not sure how or when we'll transition, but I really think we're on the right path.

As a funny ending to this whole topic. Here's what happened this morning (while I was at work). Trevor still sleeps in a pull-up, and when he gets up, he changes into undies (even if he leaves his jammies on). After the boys woke Daddy up, they went into the boys bedroom to change Blake out of his wet over-night pull-up and into a new dry one for the day. Daddy asks B to take off his pants and is confused to see B wearing a dry pull-up. And then Trevor speaks up and explains, "I helped him put his pull-ups on. I pulled it over his butt!!" What a nice brother.... and what an embarrassing story for when they are older!!!

Underwear vs. Pull-Ups

Having been all the way down the road of potty-training once before, I've heard my share of advise. While I know most advise comes with the best of intentions, I fully believe in only listening to about 50% of it at the most! (ah, parenting advise... a topic for a whole lot of blog posts... but not this one!).

One memorable piece of advise regarding potty training, seems to be regarding the use of Pull-Ups. You know Pull-Ups right? The diaper/underwear combo, that go on like underwear to make the kid feel like a "big kid" but that protect like a diaper. The majority of parents I know (or at least who have commented to me on this topic) seem to feel that pull-ups just allow the kid to keep peeing in their pants, and don't force them to learn what happens when they pee in their undies. Most of these parents I have talked with, agree that it's just better to cut to the chase, put the kid in undies, and let them learn thru trial and error that they have to learn to hold it, and then go to the potty. This happens to be part of the 50% of advise I'm willing to listen to. Use pull-ups rarely if at all.

For Trevor, that was the case. He didn't think pull-ups were undies, he thought they were diapers. And he didn't care that the designs faded, or that they felt wet (his cloth diapers usually felt wet!). Trevor was also a peach of a child to potty train. I knew he was ready to learn, as he would come up and tell me, "Mommy, I peed/pooped while I was playing trains." Then when I asked him when he would start wearing underwear (he was just about 2 3/4) he said (oh so logically), "When I run out of diapers." And pretty much that was it. He 'ran out' of diapers that weekend (I didn't wash the cloth and I took away the 'sposies) and he looked around the room, and then put on undies. He wasn't instantly trained, but he was willing to try and practice and learn. It took him a few months to completely get it, but right from that moment, he was trying. During the early part of the training process, if we were going out, I put him in a pull-up. Sometimes he used the potty, other times he didn't. But he still knew when he peed and could tell me.

I also knew, as Trevor completed potty-training in a few short months, with few roadblocks... That I couldn't expect to be lucky twice. I KNEW that as similar as my boys were (and are!), I was probably going to get what was coming to me (a royal pain in the @$$) when it came to training Blake. Why then do I stress so much about it?

Anyway... the point of this post. We've been down the potty-training road with Blake before, wish some success and quite a bit of failure. At hubby's request, we started again on B's 3rd birthday. Both of us agreed that he seems to be the kind of kid who will believe he can do it simply because he's 3 now! Well, it's been relatively positive so far. It has not been completely successful, and we've had our share of fights and issues, but we're doing much better than a few months ago. And heck a week later, we're still trying and succeeding!

In part, I think this is due to the, "I am 3" mentality that we are pushing at Blake... about everything, not just potty training.We've raised our expecations (just slightly) and we keep pointing out to him, "You're a big boy, you're 3 now". At the same time, I think the fact that this is not an entirely new concept is also helpful-he knows what we expect, what he needs to do, and what it feels like to sit on the potty etc. Knowing Blake, that's a very good thing. It may even by helpful that he starts pre-school next week.... Big Boy! He doesn't have to be trained for school, but we keep telling him that all the big kids who go to school use the potty, and he REALLY wants to go to school with Trevor.

So.... yesterday, we got up and had plans to go out, so I put Blake in a pull-up. I asked him to go potty before we left, and he did. I reminded him to keep his pull-ups dry, and he said he would. He has previously kept them dry for a 5 hour period while we were out... major progress. He prefers to hold it, than use a big potty (something we'll deal with eventually!). So we went out, he kept them dry, he came home and went pee on the little potty. He napped, stayed dry, and so kept wearing the pull-up since he already had it on. He wore that one pull-up all day, and itwas DRY at bedtime! Holy Smokes!! He stayed dry an entire day (and in a pull-up no less). Celebration ensued with ice cream and lots of kisses!

This morning, we got up, and when given a choice, he put on a pull-up vs. underwear. Fine with me. We reminded him during the day to keep it dry, and had him go potty (at our request) a few times. Fine, dry through lunch time. At nap, he pooped in the pull-up (this is no surprise!), so when he got up, we got out a new pull-up. Nope, he says "I want undies". Fine with me (great even...maybe we're making progress). In the next 2 hours, he pees in 2 pairs of undies and pants. So we go back to pull-ups.... and he stays dry from then until bed time! What the HECK!???! I have such weird children!!! He just likes to be different/difficult??? I don't get it!!

So long Captain!

Okay, I'm done.

After 10 days of underwear and potty-training, Blake has made me crazy and insanse. He doesn't want to wear diapers, but he won't tell me when he has to pee, won't go potty on his own, argues with me when I tell him to go, cries when I take went undies off him, and is generally SO bull-headed that I'm ready to scream (oh wait, I've been screaming all morning!). I'm done.

I just took all the undies and pull-ups (for nap and bed time) out of his room, and brought back all the cloth diapers and baby wipes etc. He's pissed, but I don't care! He's so not his brother....which is fine... but it makes this extra-hard.

Captain Underpants has been de-pantsed (is that a word?).

And 8 hours, after taking away the undies, he is absolutely perfectly gloriously HAPPY in a soaking diaper. Apparently, he just ain't ready!!!

Captain Underpants

Holy cow, I thought this day would NEVER come!

Blake has willingly sat on the potty and peed 7 times in the last 2 days! (Yes, I'm counting!). He is such a stubborn child (who knows where he gets that!?!??!), that any suggestion of going potty has been met with FIERCE resistance. He has set his mind not to do this, for so long that I've just kinda not fought it.

Part of me wants him trained now, because T was trained at this age. But they are NOT the same child, that's not really fair of me. For a while I pushed him that he needed to go potty before his birthday so he could go to school with Trev. That also is not quite true, as he can go in pull-ups and I think he knows that. He also is anti-school lately, so I've had to drop that tactic as it works in his favor right now. Then I mentally readjusted, and said that as long as he was trained before the baby arrives, I don't care when or how it happens. I didn't push Trev and I really think that was a key to his success..... he had control, he was ready and talking about it, and he wanted to do it.

When Trev potty trained, it started because I asked him when he would use the potty. His answer was simple and logical for a 2 3/4 year old, "When I run out of diapers Mommy!". So he ran out of diapers (all the cloth were dirty in the laundry) and the disposables were gone. So he put on underwear. By no means was that it and he was trained, but he was ready to try and learn, and he did so in a brief amount of time (2-3 weeks I think). He's still not dry at night and I'm not worried about that. He's always been a heavy wetter at night and he's growing out of it bit by bit.

Ironically, Saturday morning, Blake had no cloth diapers left, and no 'sposies either. So he wandered aimlessly for a while, and then at my suggestion, put on Thomas underwear. (Note: Thomas trumped Elmo, how strange!). He has been wearing underwear while awake since then, other than a brief break this morning to go to a Halloween party (I don't need pee on the Elmo costume, that would be the END of the world!). He's been trying to hold it and tell me and learn, and it's happening slowly.

The best part, by far, was the smile on his face, when he sat down and peed a "river" (his words) and he could hear it! He was grinning and laughing and SO happy with himself! It was great!!! Somehow, caught up in the moment of it all, I have no photos of all this to embarass him with, or to prove it to the world! That's okay....we're just starting down this road. I'm sure I'll have lots of time to get the great pee pictures!!